Asking a guy out

Think you need to wait until a guy asks you out? Think again.

Many women wait for the men they like to ask them out. Big mistake. You should know by now that men aren’t great at picking up hints. When it comes to flirting, it’s the same – many of us wouldn’t recognize flirting if it walked up to us and slapped us in the face. So while you’re dropping hints and trying to flirt with a guy, he may well be thinking you’re just a very friendly girl.

If you like a guy and would like to go out with him, the best thing to do is often to just ask him out.

Dating gurus, especially female ones, may tell you different. They’ll tell you not to be too available, because if you seem too interested a man will lose interest. They’re right about the latter part – if you sleep with us and tell us you love us on the first date, we will lose interest.  Asking us out for a casual lunch or coffee, however, is perfectly acceptable.

As long as you don’t come on too strong or move too quickly, all it will tell us that you might just be interested. We won’t be entirely sure, but we’ll consider the possibility and pursue it if we like you.

Some simple rules for asking him out:

• Ask him out for coffee or lunch, not a full-blown dinner date. You want to let him know that you’re interested, not that you have already decided you want him.
• Take it slowly. That first date serves to show you’re interested, not to tell him you want to have sex with him. Unless that’s the only thing you’re after, of course.
• Don’t come on too strong. Asking him out is a clear enough sign you like him, if he likes you as well he will put in some effort once he knows you’re interested.
• If you enjoyed it, tell him you had a good time and mention you wouldn’t mind seeing him again. If he’s interested, he’ll ask you on a second date soon enough.
• Accept the possibility of being rejected. It happens to men all the time, and as any of us can tell you, it isn’t the end of the world.

Follow those rules and he won’t lose interest because he thinks you’re “too easy”.  He might not be interested, but even then, knowing for sure is better than waiting forever.