Lack of eye contact

Eye contact is the main staple of flirting. Even if a man is shy and doesn’t easily ask women out, he will still look at you if he’s interested. So if a man doesn’t even seem to notice your existence most of the time, it’s a pretty good indication that he’s not interested.

Breaking off conversations early

When a man is interested in you, he’ll usually take advantage of every possibility he can get to spend some time with you. So if he breaks off every casual conversation after a minute or two, it’s a sure sign that he has other things on his mind.

Not calling back

You’ve already gone on a date with him, and you still have to call/text/email him first whenever you want to talk with him? He’s not interested. While some guys might not make the first move even when they’re interested, once you’re in contact with each other  he will take initiative at least sometimes if he has any feelings for you at all.

He’s busy

Of course, everyone is busy sometimes. But if a man just happens to be busy whenever you want to spend time with him, you can be sure that the actual reason isn’t his schedule. Because no matter how busy he is, if he’s interested in you he will make time for you regularly.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for…

If he starts talking about how he wants to take things slowly, or how he isn’t ready for a serious relationship yet, that’s code for “sorry, but you’re not the one”. At that point, pursuing him any more will only drive him further away.

5. Sex

If there’s one thing you can count on to cause trouble, it’s sex. Doing it too quickly, wanting to wait too long, being absolutely terrible at it – they’re only a few of the ways that sex can quickly and effectively end a fledgling relationship.

If what you’re looking for is a long term relationship, the best thing to do is to wait at least a few weeks of dating, and be prepared when you decide you want it. Moving too quickly gives off a strong sign of being “easy”, while not being prepared can lead to inconvenient accidents. And let’s face it, a pregnancy scare is not a good way to start off a relationship.

Of course, in the end, what matters most is doing what you want and feel comfortable with. Just remember, know when to say no.

4. Lack of interest

Lots of books on dating will tell you that pretending not to be interested is the way to go. They’re wrong. Some men might like a challenge, but most prefer knowing where they stand over chasing a seemingly unwilling woman. In fact, there’s a word for men who chase women who aren’t interested in dating them: they’re called stalkers. As for the rest of us, we simply give up when we think a woman isn’t interested.

So if you’re interested in a man, give him signs. Obvious signs, like returning phone calls and text messages. That way, he’ll know he’s on the right track. And if you’re not interested, tell him so.

3. Demands

You have standards, and that’s fine. But what’s not fine is starting off a date by listing the things you expect from a man. A date is not a job interview, and you shouldn’t treat it like one. Even if a man meets all the criteria you’ve set for “Mr. Right”, actually telling him about those criteria will scare him off even quicker than telling him that you were born a man and haven’t had the sex change surgery yet.

Unlike what some women appear to believe, the reason demands are such a turn-off is not that we’re afraid we won’t meet your standards. It’s that being forward (or abrasive) about what you expect from a man means you’re likely to be high maintenance, arrogant, and filled with a false sense of entitlement.

2. Ex-Boyfriends

When you start talking about ex-boyfriends on a date, there really is no possible good outcome. If you’re negative about them, it will make you sound bitter. If you’re positive about them, it will make it seem as if you’re not over them. So don’t bring up the subject of your exes on dates. It’s common sense, really.

1. Moving too quickly

It might be common in films, but in real life love at first sight is quite rare. On the second date, we’ll be thinking about whether you’ll ask us in for a cup of coffee at the end of the night, not whether we should move in together. Love, marriage and children are all words that won’t even enter our minds in the first few months of dating.

So if you’re interested in a man, take it slowly. Give him the time and freedom to figure out how much he likes you. Don’t overwhelm him with an avalanche of attention, just spend time with him while also recognizing you both have separate lives. To most men, commitment is a lot less scary when they don’t feel they are being pressured into it.

What we like

Of all the things men like, perhaps the most important one is simplicity. Unlike fashion designers, straight men find you much more interesting than they find your clothes. So if your clothes draw too much attention away from your body, that’s bad. A simple tank top that shows off your curves is much, much better than any elaborate designer outfit that obscures the things we actually like seeing.

Aside from simplicity, subtle suggestion is also a good thing. A hint of cleavage, clothes just tight enough to cling to your curves – they’re all things that will raise our interest while leaving enough to the imagination. Cover too much or too little, on the other hand, and we’ll quickly lose interest.

What we don’t like

Anything that makes you look less feminine is something we probably won’t like. From your big shapeless nightgown to your big shapeless winter coat, they’re all things that can quickly make us stop seeing you as female at all. Sure, they might be comfortable, but so are pajamas.

Just as bad is exposing too much. Even if we might like seeing it sometimes, dressing trashy does not make you attractive in the long run. After all, if there’s nothing left to the imagination, there’s nothing to fantasize about. It will make us grow bored sooner or later – probably sooner.

Another big turn-off are intricate, elaborate designer outfits. These might impress other women and fashionable gay men, but straight men are usually just confused by them. In most cases, a simple t-shirt and jeans will look far better on you than any abstract outfit straight from the front lines of the fashion wars.

And finally, capri pants and leggings. Or – worst of all – capri leggings. They look ridiculous, and should be considered one of the most effective ways of birth control available.

In this day and age, chances are that you make just as much money as we do. So, in a sense, it’s odd that men are still expected to be the ones who pay for dates. Yet we don’t mind doing it. In fact, often we even like it because it’s an easy way for us to show that we’re gallant.

But even though we may like being the ones who pay for dinner or a movie, what we don’t like is if you take it for granted, or don’t even notice our attempted gallantry. So on our early dates, offer to pay for half. Most of us will politely refuse your offer, and we’ll all be happy.

An extra benefit for you is that offering to pay half will make it clear to us that you’re an independent, modern woman. And most men like independent women. Just don’t overdo it, and do allow us to pay after we’ve refused your offer.

In longer relationships, the situation changes a bit. We still won’t mind paying more often than you, but we’ll expect you to pay for a date every once in a while as well. Not necessarily because we care about the money, but because we don’t want to feel like we’re renting you.

So pay for a date every once in a while, and at the very least offer to pay half on some dates. It will make us respect you more, as well as make us feel more appreciated.

Many women wait for the men they like to ask them out. Big mistake. You should know by now that men aren’t great at picking up hints. When it comes to flirting, it’s the same – many of us wouldn’t recognize flirting if it walked up to us and slapped us in the face. So while you’re dropping hints and trying to flirt with a guy, he may well be thinking you’re just a very friendly girl.

If you like a guy and would like to go out with him, the best thing to do is often to just ask him out.

Dating gurus, especially female ones, may tell you different. They’ll tell you not to be too available, because if you seem too interested a man will lose interest. They’re right about the latter part – if you sleep with us and tell us you love us on the first date, we will lose interest.  Asking us out for a casual lunch or coffee, however, is perfectly acceptable.

As long as you don’t come on too strong or move too quickly, all it will tell us that you might just be interested. We won’t be entirely sure, but we’ll consider the possibility and pursue it if we like you.

Some simple rules for asking him out:

• Ask him out for coffee or lunch, not a full-blown dinner date. You want to let him know that you’re interested, not that you have already decided you want him.
• Take it slowly. That first date serves to show you’re interested, not to tell him you want to have sex with him. Unless that’s the only thing you’re after, of course.
• Don’t come on too strong. Asking him out is a clear enough sign you like him, if he likes you as well he will put in some effort once he knows you’re interested.
• If you enjoyed it, tell him you had a good time and mention you wouldn’t mind seeing him again. If he’s interested, he’ll ask you on a second date soon enough.
• Accept the possibility of being rejected. It happens to men all the time, and as any of us can tell you, it isn’t the end of the world.

Follow those rules and he won’t lose interest because he thinks you’re “too easy”.  He might not be interested, but even then, knowing for sure is better than waiting forever.