Well, for all female readers, here’s the answer once and for all. We actually, truly, really are thinking about nothing at all. Nothing coherent, anyway. We might have random fantasies involving being a superhero, fighting ninjas, becoming president, racing formula one cars, becoming professional wrestlers, hunting sharks or climbing mountains.

Of course, there are times that we seriously think about things. But those times are few and far between. Most of the time, we’re just thinking about nothing at all, and at best you’ll be disturbing a pleasant daydream if you ask us what we’re thinking about. Ask the question if you have to, but if we answer with “nothing”, accept that it’s probably the truth.

So if you occasionally ask us if we think you’re still beautiful, that’s perfectly ok. We’ll even mean it when we answer with the obligatory “of course, you’re absolutely gorgeous!”

What’s not ok, however, is if you keep asking it again and again. Our opinion isn’t likely to change in a week, much less in an hour. If we’re dating you or are married to you, regularly have sex with you, and like touching your body even at the most inappropriate of times, we expect those things to make the answer pretty clear already. At that point, if you continue to ask about it, it’s not just annoying. It actually shows you don’t trust us.

We like your body. It’s probably not perfect, but we don’t care. It’s like a tasty pizza – we want to enjoy it, not think about whether or not it’s the best we’ve ever seen. To us, the fact that we get to play with it is far more important than any possible imperfections. And as long as you allow us to watch it and touch it, we’ll be entirely happy with it.

Fair warning before I go on: being a man, I am not unbiased in this argument.

As said above, it’s really a ridiculous thing to fight over. After all, either putting the seat up or down is a small trouble. So why do people keep fighting over it?

From a woman’s perspective, I suppose it makes some sense. I can’t imagine accidentally sitting down on a seatless toilet or even sitting down and falling in to be fun. Funny, perhaps, but not fun. So you women might have a point when you ask us to put the seat down.

However, looking from the man’s perspective, it’s about more than just the toilet seat. It’s about control. Every time a man takes a pee, he already puts up the seat. So to us, having you just put it down before you pee doesn’t seem like something that should be a big deal.

If you complain or nag about it anyway, it feels like you are trying to control even the smallest things we do. And while the act of putting down the toilet seat might not be a big deal, having someone try to control what you do in the bathroom is.

My advice: let it go. Forcing a man to put down the seat when he’s done will make sure he feels like you’re trying to control his life every time he takes a pee. And that’s hardly a recipe for love.