Lack of eye contact

Eye contact is the main staple of flirting. Even if a man is shy and doesn’t easily ask women out, he will still look at you if he’s interested. So if a man doesn’t even seem to notice your existence most of the time, it’s a pretty good indication that he’s not interested.

Breaking off conversations early

When a man is interested in you, he’ll usually take advantage of every possibility he can get to spend some time with you. So if he breaks off every casual conversation after a minute or two, it’s a sure sign that he has other things on his mind.

Not calling back

You’ve already gone on a date with him, and you still have to call/text/email him first whenever you want to talk with him? He’s not interested. While some guys might not make the first move even when they’re interested, once you’re in contact with each other  he will take initiative at least sometimes if he has any feelings for you at all.

He’s busy

Of course, everyone is busy sometimes. But if a man just happens to be busy whenever you want to spend time with him, you can be sure that the actual reason isn’t his schedule. Because no matter how busy he is, if he’s interested in you he will make time for you regularly.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for…

If he starts talking about how he wants to take things slowly, or how he isn’t ready for a serious relationship yet, that’s code for “sorry, but you’re not the one”. At that point, pursuing him any more will only drive him further away.

5. Sex

If there’s one thing you can count on to cause trouble, it’s sex. Doing it too quickly, wanting to wait too long, being absolutely terrible at it – they’re only a few of the ways that sex can quickly and effectively end a fledgling relationship.

If what you’re looking for is a long term relationship, the best thing to do is to wait at least a few weeks of dating, and be prepared when you decide you want it. Moving too quickly gives off a strong sign of being “easy”, while not being prepared can lead to inconvenient accidents. And let’s face it, a pregnancy scare is not a good way to start off a relationship.

Of course, in the end, what matters most is doing what you want and feel comfortable with. Just remember, know when to say no.

4. Lack of interest

Lots of books on dating will tell you that pretending not to be interested is the way to go. They’re wrong. Some men might like a challenge, but most prefer knowing where they stand over chasing a seemingly unwilling woman. In fact, there’s a word for men who chase women who aren’t interested in dating them: they’re called stalkers. As for the rest of us, we simply give up when we think a woman isn’t interested.

So if you’re interested in a man, give him signs. Obvious signs, like returning phone calls and text messages. That way, he’ll know he’s on the right track. And if you’re not interested, tell him so.

3. Demands

You have standards, and that’s fine. But what’s not fine is starting off a date by listing the things you expect from a man. A date is not a job interview, and you shouldn’t treat it like one. Even if a man meets all the criteria you’ve set for “Mr. Right”, actually telling him about those criteria will scare him off even quicker than telling him that you were born a man and haven’t had the sex change surgery yet.

Unlike what some women appear to believe, the reason demands are such a turn-off is not that we’re afraid we won’t meet your standards. It’s that being forward (or abrasive) about what you expect from a man means you’re likely to be high maintenance, arrogant, and filled with a false sense of entitlement.

2. Ex-Boyfriends

When you start talking about ex-boyfriends on a date, there really is no possible good outcome. If you’re negative about them, it will make you sound bitter. If you’re positive about them, it will make it seem as if you’re not over them. So don’t bring up the subject of your exes on dates. It’s common sense, really.

1. Moving too quickly

It might be common in films, but in real life love at first sight is quite rare. On the second date, we’ll be thinking about whether you’ll ask us in for a cup of coffee at the end of the night, not whether we should move in together. Love, marriage and children are all words that won’t even enter our minds in the first few months of dating.

So if you’re interested in a man, take it slowly. Give him the time and freedom to figure out how much he likes you. Don’t overwhelm him with an avalanche of attention, just spend time with him while also recognizing you both have separate lives. To most men, commitment is a lot less scary when they don’t feel they are being pressured into it.

Most men are perfectly to willing to have sex on the first date. Hell, many of us probably wouldn’t even mind having sex before the first date. But we know that many women prefer waiting a few more dates, so we don’t mind waiting with them. After all, good things are worth waiting for.

However, if you’re intent on not going all the way right away, make it clear at an early stage. That does not mean you should start off the evening by announcing you don’t have sex on the first date. That’s just crazy. But you shouldn’t wait until you’re naked in bed with us before letting us know you’d prefer to wait a bit longer, either. Doing the latter not only confuses us, it can cause us enormous physical pain. (yes, I’m talking about blue balls here)

So when to let us know you don’t want to take it any further right away, then?

Your best bet is probably not to take any clothes off unless you’re willing to put what’s underneath them to use. We will wish you’d wanted to take it further, but we will also appreciate you for not being a tease.

In this day and age, chances are that you make just as much money as we do. So, in a sense, it’s odd that men are still expected to be the ones who pay for dates. Yet we don’t mind doing it. In fact, often we even like it because it’s an easy way for us to show that we’re gallant.

But even though we may like being the ones who pay for dinner or a movie, what we don’t like is if you take it for granted, or don’t even notice our attempted gallantry. So on our early dates, offer to pay for half. Most of us will politely refuse your offer, and we’ll all be happy.

An extra benefit for you is that offering to pay half will make it clear to us that you’re an independent, modern woman. And most men like independent women. Just don’t overdo it, and do allow us to pay after we’ve refused your offer.

In longer relationships, the situation changes a bit. We still won’t mind paying more often than you, but we’ll expect you to pay for a date every once in a while as well. Not necessarily because we care about the money, but because we don’t want to feel like we’re renting you.

So pay for a date every once in a while, and at the very least offer to pay half on some dates. It will make us respect you more, as well as make us feel more appreciated.